Vancouver Dating by Matchmaker and Dating Expert Sheree Morgan

Vancouver Dating header image 4

What Do Men Want?

June 2nd, 2010 by admin
Respond

Previously I wrote about “What do women want?” http://vancouverdating.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/what-do-women-want-really/ I think it only fitting to offer the other side of the coin, “What do men want?” Now when I refer to this I mean, what do they want in a woman and a relationship? Since I am only a mere woman I had to actually ask some men for their opinions.I must say I certainly got a varied response but then I picked a varied group on purpose. Some responses are laughable and some very insightful.

Here are a few of their direct quotes:  

1. I want attractiveness, cleanliness, and emotional and financial stability in my partner, particularly the latter since I do so much freelance work I am such a gypsy myself, ha ha! (I am not sure, is he saying he would like to be a kept man?)

 

2. I  am pretty positive and clearer on this point than I’ve ever been in my life, I don’t know the order but they’ll probably be close to the way they come out.  To feel like I matter to her more than, well probably most things.  I want to be treated like the King and she is my Queen, I want to know that when I’m out ‘killing the dragon’ and ‘defending the castle’ when I come home, I’m coming home to her arms. That makes it all worthwhile. Desired and ‘lusted’ over before and when we make love.  To make love and have sex. (yes there is a difference) Admired, Interested and Interesting basically “it all” (Very traditional way of thinking, as long as he has a traditional woman, I’d say he’d be happy and yes I do know the difference between making love and having sex. ) 

 

3. Good question . A  loaded question for sure !  Men want an attractive, smart, honest caring one man woman. Someone who will be supportive and be flexible in life ups and downs. Meaning that women spend less when the market’s shrink and spend more when the markets expand. It’s simple but apparently not for many! Men want their women to respect them ! ( I never really thought about the economy and a man’s needs and expectations with his partner but it  makes perfect sense  and I am all about the RESPECT!)

 

4. Honesty, loyalty, romance, friendship, great communication and great sex, of course. :) (Very simple straight forward thought process, but  probably pretty bang on.)

 

5. Honesty, communicator, loyalty,someone who wants to enjoy life to its fullest, enjoy each and every day, smile, have fun. Someone to do activities with and also someone who likes their time to do the things they like as well. Someone who wants to love me and wants me to love them. I believe that you have to have things in common in your activity group.  I like running and cycling, golfing and want to learn other activities like that eg. tennis, squash etc..I would like to learn other things as well. So I am open that way to learning new things. Oh did I mention sex lol..Well I tend to like that part very much. I would want someone who doesn’t have hang ups that way. Being spontaneous in sex and other activities as well and travelling could be put in there…I believe Sheree that sex is very important. In society it tends to be put in the back corner…Well I believe it should be in the fore front. It is a very important part of life…So I guess I mentioned sex lol.. (Sounds pretty predictable for most guys, with a focus on SEX, did I mention SEX, there’s a surprise !  :) Like I said pretty normal, but I think Sex IS ALWAYS in the forefront and sometimes confuses us into thinking that lust is actually love when there really may not be anything more. We honestly need the combined package of a friend and lover in order to have a lasting relationship and consequently a better love life. I am all for Great sex and lots of it, but unfortunately it does not guarentee a great relationship, damn it anyways! But it’s a  good place to start!) 

 

6. What I want is fairly simple.  My “musts” are kind, honest, and happy. Kindness and honesty are generally the same thing, but in cases where they diverge, kindness should overrule.  If a woman has those three qualities I will be attracted no matter what she looks like.  A great smile goes a long way too, especially if it is reflected in her eyes and laugh.   I’m looking for an equal, a friend, a partner. (this young man is actually incredibly mature about these things and easy to please but for some reason has not been able to find a woman that feels the same, a true story of nice guys finishing last…. so far. I still have faith  that there is a great girl out there for him, he just hasn’t met her yet! Ladies if you are interested in a great guy, call me! He wants to get married and have children and I can tell he would be a great husband and father.)

 

7.  Legs, if you have nice legs, us men love them – all sizes or colors, dresses – Please wear more – any type, see-thru tops with a nice color bra,  friendly Smiles, women/girls in Hockey Jerseys, colorful dressing – pants, tops, dresses etc. (I think we can see he is definitely focused on the icing on the cupcake rather than the substance, I wonder why he is still single? )

 

8. I literally confronted a more mature married man in a coffee shop  and begged for his words of wisdom. He stated that what he wanted from a woman  had changed over the years and  had consequently resulted in a divorce and remarriage (14 years ago). At this point in his life  he wanted a partner with similar interests,  similar personalities,  reliability, dependability and somebody that has their act together. (He may be a little older  but he is definetly much wiser and still extremely handsome, too bad he is not  available. Such is life!)

 

So there you have it, NOT really any great surprises, we all know that most men pick a woman initially by her LOOKS  (some more than others). The more MATURE the man gets the more they realize that they also want a great  FRIENDSHIP, COMPATABILITY, RELIABILITY, DEPENDABLITY, HONESTY, KINDNESS,  RESPECT and of course GREAT SEX! Sounds actually pretty similar to what the women told me,  So you see, we are not all that different after all. :)

Special Thanks to all the men that were willing to participate, your identity has been protected! :)

I would love to hear what you want!  Please add your  needs and wants in the comment section below.

P.S. Age does not guarantee maturity, some men actually digress,  you know what I mean, the MEN that feel that they are ENTITLED to date a woman half their age or CHEAT on their wives. All I can say is good luck with that!  If I had a nickel for every40 or 50 year old man that told me he wanted to date a much younger woman 20 – 30 because he felt that he didn’t look or feel his age!  Yeah right! :)   Yet  they are always honestly surprised when that younger woman takes half their money and  then cheats on them with a younger man, hmmmm????? Actually, maybe they are entitled to that!   :) But that’s a whole other post! :)

Tags:   · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · No Comments.

Blenz coffee, Protein Shakes, Gluten free food and men!!!!!

May 28th, 2010 by admin
Respond

In a previous post I touched briefly about Blenz Coffee Shops and today I find myself writing about them again, why, because they rock! Today I am writing particularly about the Downtown Blenz coffee shop in Bentall 5, my other favourite is at Richards and Davie.  There are so many coffee shops all over Vancouver, why do I continually go back to Blenz and this one in particular?  There are many reasons the service is great, the coffee is excellent and there seems to be a continual supply of men wandering downstairs and filtering  through the doors,  (hello ladies, who says there are no men in Vancouver) and if that’s not enough healthy food that I can actually digest. Now they have added even more healthy alternatives with their exciting new Protein shakes. YUM!

Being a Celiac (I cannot digest gluten) for the longest time I struggled with finding something to eat other than salads at the local coffee shops. This particular Blenz has taken care of us problem children by offering yummy gluten free alternatives.  Every day they offer at least one tasty gluten free soup special and from first hand experience I can attest that they are well worth trying. As someone who has always made my soup from scratch I swear these soups taste like I cooked them myself!  If you are feeling the need for something  sweet they also offer a gluten free banana flax date loaf and an incredible  gluten free vegan peanut butter, chocolate chunk cookie that is very addictive (my personal weakness).

Now they have  these incredible protein shakes with  30 grams whey powder, yogurt, real fruit,  or  Belgian chocolate, peanut butter, or premium matcha, depending on the flavour requested. 

Flavour choices:

Strawberry Banana –  strawberries, banana, yogurt, whey powder

Power Mochachillo – Belgian chocolate, espresso, yogurt, whey powder

Mixed berries – blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, yogurt, whey powder

PB Banana Chocolate – peanut butter, banana, Belgian chocolate, yogurt, whey powder

Power Matcha – matcha premix, yogurt, whey powder

Mango Banana - mangos, banana, yogurt, whey powder

Special note: Keep in mind that not all Blenz coffee shops offer the gluten free food  as they are individually owned and operated, but they do all offer the same great coffee and fabulous new protein shakes.  http://blenzcommunity.com/

 What more could you ask for? Great service,  healthy food you can digest (no easy feat for a Celiac) and a plethora of men (employed men). Good grief ,why would you not go?   Special note: For the optimum men capacity the best time to drop into Blenz at Bentall 5 is Monday to Friday from 8 – 6pm.  For all the other Blenz shops anytime is a good time for great  coffee , wonderful service, fabulous food and healthy new protein drinks.

PS. If you happen to see me  there please make sure and stop by and introduce yourself. :)

www.match-works.com

Tags:   · · · · · · · No Comments.

Sexual Chemistry is it Good or Bad?

May 12th, 2010 by admin
Respond

Let’s talk about  chemistry, is it a friend or foe to a relationship?  HMMMM, very interesting subject actually.

There are actually two different types of chemistry, sexual and romantic chemistry.  Sexual is based on a mutual magnetic, animal like attraction that is based on physicality and usually nothing more. (some people refer to this as their type). Unfortunately it can leave us feeling helpless to resist but is usually short-lived if it is the only connection. I refer to this type of chemistry  as train wreck  or roller coaster chemistry. Like an out of control freight train or roller coaster it may feel overwhelmingly exciting  and intoxicating and often blinds us into making bad decisions. Unfortunately  this wonderful feeling inevitably comes to a screeching halt at the end of the track.  So what started out as a great ride often ends up with a pile of  bloody carnage and broken hearts. If you are over 35 you probably know exactly what I mean! I have taken this ride a few times, but I think I know better now. Don’t quote me on this. :)   I have learned to never say never. :)

Romantic chemistry is similar but  could also include intellectual,  creative, emotional, and or  spiritual connection as well. Unfortunately the attraction is often linked to some  similar positive and negative personality traits to important figures in our earlier life (unfinished emotional baggage).

Sexual Chemistry feels wonderful and can often be described as euphoria.  It can make you feel invigorated, energetic,vibrant  and powerful.  No wonder this is so attractive to us all? Who wouldn’t want to feel that? So why is this a problem?  Because unfortunately this feeling of euphoria can sometimes wan as quickly as it came when we eventually come down to earth and discover our partners imperfections. We can often feel cheated and resentful at that point because our partners don’t always live up to our expectations. At this point our partners positive traits can evolve into a negative. (example: the confidence we were attracted to can now appear to be egotistical and controlling).

Toxic chemistry can often cause couples to break up and get back together in hopes of trying to resolve this unfinished emotional baggage. But on the other hand, if we are emotionally mature and willing to work through the issues, it is also what draws us in and makes us want to make the effort. The good thing about this is that the more obstacles that we overcome and the more trials and tribulations that we get through  as a couple, the deeper our relationship grows. I took a workshop about love and conflict and the speaker said that if we wanted to find a deeper true  lasting love, instead of running away, we should welcome the conflicts in our relationships because it gives us the opportunity to learn and grow together.  This makes perfect sense!

Most people say that they always know right away if there is chemistry and I would have to say that  for years I believed that. But sometimes it grows and evolves over a period of time, out of friendships, shared values and backgrounds. Either way, I think that the one thing we should try to remember is that chemistry although wonderful is not the only thing needed when considering a possible relationship. If you have it immediately make sure and keep your head about you, while you get to know this exciting alluring creature, try to see if they are someone you actually like and could imagine spending your life with, exactly as they are.

A while ago I read a book that had 2 great questions to ask  yourself about your potential partner. 

If this person never changed one iota for the rest of their life, could you stay with them and would you be happy? 

Would you like to have a child exactly like this person and would you be proud of them?  

Great questions and pretty simple to answer aren’t they?

Ah Chemistry, it makes your potential partner exciting, stimulating, and so alluring,  just try to make sure you keep your head long enough to see if you also like them. :)    

www.match-works.com if you have not sent me your profile, what are you waiting for? http://www.match-works.com/Application.html

Tags:   · · · · · · · · · · · · · · No Comments.

Open your Heart, not just your Wallet!

April 26th, 2010 by admin
Respond

What would you give for True Love?  What does that mean to you? Someone that will love, appreciate and respect you just the way you are, even when you aren’t at your best.   :) Most people tell me they would do anything to find that special someone  that  they could share that with. But what are they willing to do to get it? Are they willing to open their hearts up? I know it can be a scary place to be but it is necessary  in order to find and maintain true love.

I continually talk to men who have said to me that they gave  everything to their exes. They consider themselves givers and they really can’t figure out why their partners left. They tell me that they provided a  splashy home  and  spent all this money on this or that. They took them out for dinner, once in awhile,  bought them fancy clothes and can’t quite figure out why these women eventually left them. I will let you in on a secret men, “the women and the relationship that you really want can not be bought”. “You need to open your heart not your wallet“.

I understand that apparently men are hardwired to be the provider and take care of the family financially. (Although at 53 years of age I have never had a man take care of me that way, long term. So what am I doing? I seem to attract the exact opposite, but that is beside the story, back to the norm). According to statistics and experts in the field, men think that if they go to work and provide for their loved ones or potential partners that that is all they have to do and they actually believe this makes them a giver.   Honestly men You can not buy love!  If you honestly want a warm loving respectful relationship it has to come from your heart. You will have to pay attention, be respectful and considerate, thoughtful, affectionate as well as passionate and  learn how to communicate effectively and that means listening as well as talking. As the saying  goes “god gave you 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason, try listening twice as much as you talk” and you will have a hell of a better chance at making that relationship into the one that you really want.   This goes for women too!

I am not saying that you need to give up your career and go live off welfare and just work on your relationship, I am just saying that if you want the unconditional love you will also have to let your partner in and learn how to really give.  Mothers tend to be nurturers and caregivers and sometimes they give so much that they forget about themselves till they find themselves feeling like a doormat. Trust me this is not a good feeling. I honestly think that most men are not aware that this happens and can’t understand when their partner says that they feel like they are alone in their relationship. Men say” But I am working as hard as I can (at work) she just doesn’t appreciate me“! Trust me men if you start pay attention instead, you will have a happier home-life.

Nowadays a lot of women are out there working and bringing in the bacon as well. Unfortunately the old idea of the stay- at- home wife is rarely possible any more. The cost of living has skyrocketed so high that women are also the breadwinners and when they go home they have to take care of the house, the children and try to make the relationship work. So men if you  really want that relationship to work and you want that spark and  love in your life, maybe your chances will be a little bit better if you remember to open your heart up, let your partner in, help her out a little in the home, with kids and with the relationship.  Together the two of you can make your relationship something special.

As for all you single men out there  (looking for true love) remember that while you are out there throwing your cash around trying to impress that woman, make sure that you open yourself up and make room for her. Show her that there is room in your heart and head just for her. Show her that you are willing to commit and make the effort to make this the  lasting loving  relationship that you both really want. What happens if you just throw money at a business, it quickly folds because you haven’t paid any attention to it. But if you give it your heart and soul it usually thrives! Just something to think about!   

PS.If you can’t do this you are not ready for a relationship and you should take some valuable time off to take care of those issues before you start dating. Please save everyone the heartache!

PPSS. I do realize that there are some women out there and all they want is your wallet, but  let’s be honest, those are not the women that you will  find true lasting love with! Be aware, if she is half your age, chances are its not your butt she is after.  :)  Think about it the next time you feel that sense of entitlement!!!!!!  Hey if you don’t believe me just ask Tiger!

www.match-works.com

Tags:   · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · No Comments.

It’s Complicated! It’s Hysterical!

April 22nd, 2010 by admin
Respond

Layout 1How many of you have seen Universal Studio’s new movie It’s Complicated with Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin? It is hysterical! As a long time Meryl Streep fan you never have to lure me into watching anything she is in. I just love anything she does, whether she is tearing my heart out (Sophie’s Choice)  or stomping on it in her stilettos (The Devil Wears Prada) I just love her.  Add Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin to stir the pot and you can only imagine the complications. Come to think of it, have you ever known a relationship that didn’t come with complications. You know what I mean, I think it’s called life. :)   

Meryl plays a  divorced woman who finds herself a reluctant empty nester now that the last of  her 3 children is about to leave.  Otherwise she runs a successful bakery and things seem to be blooming and expanding everywhere, including her home that she is finally getting around to renovating, exactly the way she wants. She seems to have everything she wants, except for her non-existent love life.  Enter her ex-husband Alec, who left her for a much younger woman 10 years earlier. When their joint obligations throw them together, it becomes just a little evident that there seems to be some unfinished business. Is it just because the shoe is now on the other foot? Maybe it’s because Alec hasn’t been able to drop by and grab some pastry anytime he wants? Or is it that the new grass is not always greener? Â

It’s Complicated made me laugh out loud for so many reasons, I could actually picture myself being in that scenario. Alec was incredibly charming and yes  I’ll say it, sexy in his own way. He played his role so well, I could understand why both women could be attracted to him.  I almost felt a little sorry for him when you see that being married to a beautiful free-spirited young woman didn’t turn out to be all that he expected it would be; hey I said a little I am 53.  Why is it that older men are always surprised when this happens? It’s no surprise, except to Meryl when Alec starts yearning for the comforts of home or more importantly, his ex wife’s home. After all, it comes with a great cook, a wonderful mother, peace and quiet and forbidden passion with an old flame. While back at his young wife’s house he has a noisy kid, bigger financial demands and a hormonal woman. Not quite what he bargained for, but then, when is life ever the way we thought it would be?  

Add Steve Martin as a gun-shy fledgling male interest in Meryl’s life and hilarity ensues. I did feel compelled to want to take him on as a client, help him build his confidence and find him a loving partner.  Or maybe that is just my nurturing characteristic? :)

How many of you have ever wondered about an ex-loved one and considered going down that path again, has it ever worked out? Or did you just discover that the ship had passed and you truthfully prefer a sailboat anyways?  I think that most often you will find that whatever issues  there were in the first place are still there and the time to question going back to an ex is before you leave.Â

The best thing about It’s Complicated is  that while you are laughing yourself silly I found myself caring about everyone, yes even Alec.  I love a movie that makes me feel something and care for the characters and it did just that. I recommend this light-hearted movie for men and women, young and old. If you have been through a divorce, it may give you some satisfaction as well as something  to laugh at and if you are still married it may make you look at your partner with a little more insight.  So for all you men or women that think that you might be missing out and that you are entitled to a  newer younger model, be careful what you wish for. you just might get it! :)

www. match-works.com

Tags:   · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · No Comments.

Social Media is it a hindrance to our social life?

April 8th, 2010 by admin
Respond

Social Media is everywhere, you can’t spin a cat without hitting another new form of it. Don’t rush out and call the SPCA on me I never spin cats, it is just a saying and I love cats. :)   Anyways back to my point and I do have one, Social Media is it a help or hindrance? Most people started out simply by texting, then  Facebook or LinkedIn took over their lives and then twittering and tweeting. Where does it stop, more importantly where does it get us? Since I write about dating and relating issues I would like to talk about how it affects our relationships. Logically we think social media should be good for our social lives, but is it really?  

I have to admit I am on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter  for my Business but I try to keep my social life out of it. I think that people, particularly Vancouverites have already lost the art of socializing and the last thing that we need to do is add anymore areas to distract us from talking face to face. As I have already discussed in my last post about online dating, behind closed doors (on the computer) many people have given into a little false advertising or creative embellishment and some a lot. :) I guess they can refer to that as artistic license, but I call it lying. We all know what happens when you actually meet and realize that the “Tall, smart and  40 something handsome man” can sometimes turn into the “short, overweight, balding, 60 ish man who lives with his parents ” when you actually meet him. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I am just saying. Let’s be honest  people! Yes I realize that women lie too! I am just making a point, people can be as creative as they like  online and are often overly confident, considering that in person they would never even think about approaching someone of the opposite sex that way.

Lets not forget the perverts and sociopaths that are hiding behind those computers, texts, e-mails etc.   Just watch the news or read the newspapers if you don’t believe me.

I realize that a lot of these forms of Social Media were created to help people in business and they can help to a degree, but eventually even in business you need to get face to face to establish that relationship!  You can’t make a sale if the client doesn’t trust you and we always want to deal with people we know and trust, hence the need for establishing those  business relationships.  As for our personal life I think that the less information you have about yourself online the better. We all know that employers (google or yahoo) online for any information about a potential employee, so make sure that anything that is online shows you in a positive light. The pictures of you drinking and staggering around holding onto who knows what is probably not going to land you that job, unless of course that is what you are being hired to do.    

So why are people not socializing as easily as they should. Men tell me that “women are unapproachable in Vancouver”, I say bull! Have as much confidence as you do online and give it a shot! I know for a fact that women want you to approach them and make the first move. They complain to me about how “ men don’t approach them”.  When I say approach them I mean as a gentleman, forget that (hey baby, how ya doin) approach. Try to have realistic expectations and don’t expect that everyone you try to talk to is available or looking for a relationship and they may have a jealous boyfriend. Approach with no expectations. Women if you want men to approach you, make sure that your welcome mat is out, be positive,  energetic and welcoming (smile) and you will be surprised at how many men will make that move. Come on people, you can do this!

Don’t get me started about texting, I don’t even have it on my phone and I don’t want it! If you want to talk to me, you have to talk to me in person, or at least on the phone, but I always prefer face to face. I have seen kids  and adults texting each other when they are in the same room. Good lord, how on earth are they even going to establish relationships when they can’t communicate face to face? And why would I want to know what someone is having for dinner in their tweeting, hello, I don’t really care and if you do, you really need to get out more, seriously. We live in a beautiful city full of beautiful people just waiting to meet you. We have the ocean, the mountains, the seawall,  there is so much to do, if you just get out there. If you want a relationship you have to step outdoors, unless of course you have a great  pizza delivery person that you have the hots for.    Good relationships are all about communication and intimacy, as helpful as social media can be we still need that personal contact. Besides have you ever tried to cuddle up to a computer, not so warm and cozy. :)

So yes if you are using social media for your business, absolutely, but if you are looking to better your social life, get outside and get  communicating and socializing face to face. We have all heard about networking for your business so why not socialize for your social life. It’s crazy enough that it just might work, hey it worked for our grandparents! If  you are too busy or all that fails, you know where to find me. I have helped lots of single people in Vancouver find the Match that Works and I would be happy to help you too! :)

PS. Yes I know that blogging is a form of social media but how else am I going to reach all of you that are sitting at home behind your computers? :)

Tags:   · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · No Comments.

Online Dating, Addiction and other Hazards!

April 5th, 2010 by admin
Respond

How many of you have tried online dating? How many of you have found your soul mate or partner online? Why not, there seems to be a plethora of possible matches online.   Logically speaking we should all be able to go online with our little wish list and scroll through the pages and pages of possible matches, until we find that certain someone.  That’s what all the advertisements say. :)  Unfortunately  the reality is quite the opposite.  There are more people online that are frustrated angry and down right exhausted from all the  scrolling through all the photos and profiles.   The false advertising by the members, the bad coffee dates, the energy it takes to get your hopes up every time to have it dashed when you find out they look nothing like their photo.  It’s hard not to  get angry or disappointed when  almost everyone lies about their age, their height, misrepresent their size, their activity level and their photo  was taken 10 years ago. I have actually had people say “oh when they meet me, they’ll like me so much it won’t matter”.  Are you kidding me? False advertising (lying) will always blow up in your face. Isn’t it humiliating when the person is not interested because they were expecting someone else? If you honestly are confident that they would like you just as you are, then why would you misrepresent yourself in the first place? If you are going to go online for god’s sake, tell the truth, be honest, show them who you really are.  At least then, when someone contacts you, you will have a chance. After you read the rest of this you may not want to and if you do, you might approach it differently.

I was not always a matchmaker and I obviously cannot date my clients, so yes I have tried online dating myself.  I tried it before launching my own business, part of my due diligence. Out of all my friends that have tried online dating, I only know one that actually met his girlfriend there. The difference  is he went online, met someone almost immediately and then got off and went forward working through the relationship. He did not feel the need to date the whole online world, so it worked for him.  With the millions of people who are online, once in a while one will stick,  but only if they are ready for it  emotionally, ready to commit and they get offline quick.   Most often singles become serial online daters.  They become frustrated, disillusioned and down right exhausted, and many have  literally become addicted and just can’t seem to get offline, no matter how many people they met.  

As for my personal experience, I hated it,  for many reasons. The time and energy  it took to get started  and I did not like my photo out front.  The  overwhelming amount of hits I got and some of the people who contacted me, scared the crap out of me.  The first time I tried it, I pulled it all off in a few days. The next time, a few years later, I thought I would be smarter I would just put  a profile out  front and only contact the ones I was interested in and offer them my backstage photo. This eliminated a lot of people as I wasn’t willing to have a photo out front. But it was the only way I felt safe, yeah right, much safer.  :) What I found online was disappointing, although I did end up dating 2  different men  at  2 different times.  I was online for a month each time, about a year apart.  Before long I realized why both of them were single, both different reasons and those would be two other long boring posts. :)  The similarity was the “throw away mentally” that  they had both gotten from being online. Their perception was there are thousands of fish in the sea (online) so rather than work on their issues,  it was easier to throw away the relationship.  The reality is that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but you still have the same issues, as well as new ones with that new person. Instead their wish list grew and grew and they were literally back online within a week. Who on earth is truly ready for a new relationship within a week? You haven’t even figured out what happened with the last one and so the baggage grows. If you never look at your part of the relationship and own up to your issues, you will never be able to get past them.  

What about addiction, yes addiction to online dating.  Many people may start out saying that they are looking for that one relationship, one person, but they can quickly become addicted to the proverbial “the grass is always greener on the other side“. “But I didn’t try that one“, “oh what about that one“, “hey she’s new“, “I don’t know, I just started looking“, when is enough, enough?  Even if they start dating someone who  years ago they would have tried to work through a relationship, they toss it away when their partner shows up wearing the wrong socks.  :) Sounds ridiculous, but I know you know what I am saying.  We have the illusion of thousands and thousands of possible matches when we actually have thousands and thousands of mismatches.  At least they will continue to be that way until we  take a good hard look at ourselves and decide that we want to get off the roller coaster. That means making up your mind, honestly  look at what  you bring to the table, what you need  to be happy and what steps are  you prepared to take to get there. Life is about choice and yes if we have too much choice or the perception of it, it can be a terribly confusing and addictive thing. I know people who can’t stop going online (to see what they think they are missing)  even if  they are in a great relationship.  That’s an addiction. Guess what eventually happens to that relationship?

I almost forgot about the “bait“. I know you are going what……????????? I only recently discovered that a lot of online company’s hire “bait”. These are people who are hired to  post beautiful photos( men and women ) are paid to sit online and send smiles to potential matches. You respond using your credits to talk to them through e-mails and then they convince you to talk to them on a safe line. (1-800-….). You never actually meet any of these “beautiful people”, but you do end up spending a lot of money online.  Sound familiar.  What about  the ones who want you to bring them into the country………. or the ones that are married, (surprise, surprise) you get my drift. You have no idea who you are talking to……….really.  You might be very surprised who’s on the other end. Be Careful. 

So lets see you have “addiction“,  “piled up baggage“, “the throw away mentality“,  the  “huge amount time and frustration“, “false advertising” by the other matches (not you of course)  :)  not to mention the cost of some of the dating sites, coffee dates, lunches etc.   Throw in the “bait“, “married people” and “gold-diggers” and “gigolos“. Yeah sign me up, I think I need to slam my hand in that drawer many times, before I figure out how that feels. No thanks. I got it the first time, okay maybe the third.  :)

Actually this is exactly why I started Match-Works Matchmaking, because I realized that the options out there were not working. Especially for single executives and Professionals.   Right now I am actively looking for a few select single men for some fabulous women that I am already representing ( age range 28-60) . So men if you honestly think you a great catch and are serious about finding a long-term relationship with an intelligent,attractive, physically active, stable Woman, call me for a consultation. You may be a perfect match for a wonderful woman who you definitely will not find online. Every one of them has told me that they have no interest of having their faces or profiles online for all the world to see. They want private, professional,personal service  with one of the most important searches of their life. Interested, give me a call 778-330-1204 or upload your private profile on my home page. www.match-works.com  I will be in touch if you are a possible match. Â

 

Tags:   · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · No Comments.

WHY MEN ARE HAPPIER PEOPLE!

March 25th, 2010 by admin
Respond

 

A friend sent me this in an e-mail. I am not sure of the original writer, but I thought it was so  true and extremely funny. If we can`t laugh at ourselves, we are in big trouble. Enjoy!

Thanks to who ever the original writer was.

Have a fabulous day and remember to laugh along the way.

Why Men are Happier People.
NICKNAMES
  a.. If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
  b.. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

 EATING OUT
  a.. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  b.. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 MONEY
  a.. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  b.. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

 BATHROOMS
  a.. A man has six items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
  b.. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

 ARGUMENTS
  a.. A woman has the last word in any argument.
  b.. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 FUTURE
  a.. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  b.. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 SUCCESS
  a.. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  b.. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 MARRIAGE
  a.. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
  b.. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

 DRESSING UP
  a.. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a  book, and get the mail.
  b.. A man will dress up for weddings and  funerals.

NATURAL
  a.. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  b.. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 OFFSPRING
  a.. Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
  b.. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

 

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.  There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!�
Proof that Men Have Better Friends.

 

Friendship among Women:
A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

 

Friendship among Men:
A man didn’t come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

www.match-works.com

Tags:   · · · · · · · · · · · · · · No Comments.

Keeping that Olympic Feeling!

March 18th, 2010 by admin
Respond

 Have you recovered from the Olympics yet? I live smack in the middle of what was party central, Yaletown and I have to say as much fun as it was, I was exhausted by the end. 17 days is a long time to party for anyone.  Don’t get me wrong I loved it and I was one of those yelling every time Canada raced, won a medal or scored a goal. While most people got to go home to their quiet neighbourhoods and regroup, those of us that live in the neighbourhood got very little sleep. We heard the diehard fans celebrating till  3-4 am and then the street cleaners came through racing to clean it all up, before the sun rose. Here is a little thing I did discover, I have very tiny ear openings,  no matter what I did I could not find an ear plug that would stay in my ears. But it was well worth it!

Wow, Vancouver sure threw a Party!

There were so many positives to remember, a once in a lifetime event for most of us. The Canadian pride was abundant  and infectious. I honestly thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest during the opening ceremonies, amid the tears of pride tumbling down my face. The music, the athletes, the floor that evolved into an ocean full of Whales (that was so cool). What about KD Lang and those incredible pipes of hers, I forgot how strong her voice was. I loved it all except for the National Anthem. I for one think that our National Anthem should be sung exactly as it was written no matter who sings it. Mostly because I like to sing along  and if someone keeps changing it how can I follow.  :)   It truly was a night to remember and a night to be proud to be a Canadian. Not that everyday shouldn’t be but sometimes we get so busy with our own lives that we forget how  lucky we are to be Canadian and  live in this beautiful city.  Sometimes we need to be reminded and the Olympics did just that. So thank you to Vanoc ,IOC , the Athletes and all the Volunteers and Workers that made it all possible. What a party, what a celebration and the whole world showed up to join in the festivities, how cool was that!  I guess I need to thank the whole world because we were all part of it, so thank you to everyone! Take a bow.

During the Olympics every time I walked down  the street I heard so many languages being spoken it was like being in the United Nations. But isn`t that what Canada is becoming a huge happy melting pot of nationalities all blending into one, at least it was during the Olympics. The smiling faces, the energy, the pride, the comradery. The openness of strangers, Vancouverites welcoming the World and the brotherly love was overwhelming. I believe that we need to remember how that felt, we need to keep that pride and that open-minded nature  and socializing with everyone.  I found myself in Safeway one day trying to help a group Russian Coaches pick out some healthy cereal  for their athletes (all I could understand was NO Sugar). It was quite a scene, me speaking no Russian and them no English, rather comical actually. There was a lot of silly sign language, which of course I don`t know either and neither did they, but we attempted to communicate that way. In the end they purchased some  slow cooking oatmeal and wheat bran and I got a pat on the back and a lot of nodding  for my efforts.  I should have had my neighbour with me, he speaks 32 languages, seriously!  I would love to see inside his head or at least have the capacity to learn as much as he has, but alas that is another story. Â

What about those events, how proud are we of all our athletes and what about those women?  Our CANADIAN WOMEN and MEN ROCK! 14 gold medals, 7 silver and 5 bronze for 26 medals in total, the most ever. WOOOHOOO!!!!!! Our Women’s Hockey team kicked butt of course, was there any doubt.  As For the Men’s Hockey team, how many of us were on the edge of our seats when the USA scored a  goal at  the last 24 seconds. I thought my heart was going to stop. I just starred at the screen like it was a bad dream. That didn`t really happen, did it! But our young buck Sydney Crosby managed to save us in overtime.  With that goal the whole city probably all of Canada responded with a giant cheer. Within a few minutes everyone exploded out of the restaurants, bars and homes onto the streets of Vancouver. I got drawn into the parade of revelers with a new friend and we found ourselves funneling down Granville street and then looping back to Yaletown all the while high fiving everyone, including the police that were everywhere just making sure that the celebrations and revelers were safe and secure. A great time was had by all. The Canadian pride and joy was incredible, if we could just bottle that!

On the monday after the closing ceremonies, I walked down the half empty streets and basked in the sunshine, breathing a sigh of relief. I must admit that I actually thought, selfishly, it was nice to have my city back. Vancouver sure threw a great party, but like all parties, it is great when they come and fun during the event, but peaceful when they leave. On behalf of all of Vancouver I would like to welcome all our visitors back again, just not all at the same time please. :) Hopefully they all had a great time, I did hear some wonderful things about us Canadians,  we were all so welcoming, helpful, friendly and so very polite.  To those that did not feel that way I am so terribly sorry!   :) Now we are onto the Para-Olympics, talk about challenging events.

So how do we keep all those wonderful feelings, that Canadian pride, that open-minded welcoming nature and all that energy, it  is inside all of us. We need to think back on those days and treasure those feelings and focus on the positives, because there are positives in every day for every one of us.  If you focus on the negative you can always find something, but it will only make you unhappy. Remember if you focus on the positive, you will find it! The positives will help us struggle through the rest and keep us happier.  I have a great plaque that hangs over my desk and  it says.

IF YOU LOVE THE LIFE YOU LIVE…YOU WILL LIVE A LIFE OF LOVE! and it is so true.

Go out and make today the best that you can, make sure and pay it forward!  Here`s to focusing on the positive, it starts in every one of us! Start with smiling at a stranger and see what happens. :)

Best of luck to all our Para-Olympians,  they  truly understand the power of positive thinking!!!!!!!! GO Canada GO!

www.match-works.com

Tags:   · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · No Comments.

Singles get outside and mingle during the Olympics

February 8th, 2010 by admin
Respond

 

I live in Vancouver and I am so excited, we are about to get crazy busy downtown. The Olympics are about to start in a few days and the streets are filling up already with locals, tourists and athletes. Don’t tell me that you can’t afford to attend any of these activities, because there are tons of things to do for free!!!! Seriously FREE!!     http://www.citycaucus.com/2010freeprint

Here are a few things to remember before you go outdoors and mingle:

First off make sure that you are in a positive happy frame of mind, if you are seriously grumpy or sick, stay home! You won’t do anyone any good! But if you are  seriously interested in meeting a lot of new people, now is the best time.   

Make sure you are well-groomed( put your best foot forward) but make sure and wear comfortable shoes because you could be walking and standing around in line quite a bit.

Remember when you  are in a lineup, here is a great opportunity to make connections with others that may be standing in the same line. You have nothing else to do you might as well socialize, you could be surprised how fast that line might move. (so don’t take too long to strike up a conversation with the cutie in front or behind of you.)

Smile at everyone, be positive and energetic (not creepy or threatening) everyone will want to talk to you!

Support our local athletes and cheer them on, you can’t help but show  your happy side when you are supporting others.

Be considerate and polite to everyone, people will notice.

Make sure and carry your cards so you can hand them out to people you would like to keep in touch with and get theirs, then make sure and followup with an e-mail or call within a few days.

Take transit, do not take your car, it is another opportunity to smile and  chat with strangers.

But most of all, go out and have fun with no expectations, you might be pleasantly surprised!

Go Vancouver!!!!!!!! 

http://www.citycaucus.com/2010freeprint

www.match-works.com

Tags:   · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · No Comments.