How many of us have ever had unconditional love? If you have, hopefully you understand how amazing and wonderful it is. As a woman that grew up without it, I have come to appreciate it when it has happened in my life. Not having it as a child and raised in an ophanage for a few years, I didn’t realize what I was missing. No one else in “the home” seemed to have it either, we were just one big happy noisy family. After I left “the home” I observed other families and realized that I was missing something pretty special. I spent over 25 years trying to earn my mothers love, to my knowledge, unsuccessfully. My father never was an issue.
27 years ago I met Deb, she welcomed me into her life as her friend and introduced me to her entire family. I was overwhelmed at her kindness and when I met her mother she virtually adopted me as her daughter. From that day on I called her “Mom”, I never even really knew her real name (Jessie). I was always welcome at their family parties, celebrations,birthdays and there were many. Through it all Deb, “Mom” and all the family treated me the same as everyone else. Because I had never had this outpouring of love, this family acceptance, I was always amazed with every invite. “Mom” greeted me every time with a warm hug, a big smile and always wanted to know about my sons and how we all were. “Mom” was a war bride and I remember her introducing me proudly to her friends at their war bride celebrations as her “adopted tall daughter” (she was very petite and so are all her daughters). She told me many times how proud she was of me. I had never heard that from anyone else and it meant so much to me that she thought of me that way. I found myself in tears many times over the last week because “Mom” died very suddenly of liver cancer. As I was preparing for her service and arranging her flowers for the memorial with the family, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude. It was her unconditional love that will stay in my heart forever and will make me smile, whenever I think of her.
If we look at what we all really need in our lives, in our relationships, shouldn’t it be Unconditional Love. Isn’t that what we all want? That does not mean that we let people treat us with disrespect that does not mean that we agree with everything that they say or do, but that we love them anyways. “Mom” and her family always had conflicts, differences of opinions, etc. but they always loved each other, no matter what. It is that Unconditional Love that I am talking about. It means, even if sometimes your partner drives you crazy and sometimes you might need a little breathing room, that you still care enough to make the effort to understand and appreciate each other and each others differences. When you have seen them at their worst, as well as their best and you still love them and want them in your life forever, that’s unconditional love. I don’t know about you, but that’s what I want in my partner.
I wish you all unconditional love. I hope that you recognize and appreciate it when you have it and if you don’t, the courage to keep on searching. We all deserve it.
I want to thank “Mom Jessie” from the bottom of my heart for her Unconditional Love and will always be grateful for my friend Deb for sharing her family with me. Rest in Peace Mom, you have earned it, Your entire family loves you Unconditionally.
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Thanks Sheree, we love you too, and are grateful for your many talents!
Mom would have been pretty impressed with all the attention she got yesterday at her memorial service. May she find one more go at unconditional love…in another life.
Love Deb
The impact she left on my life will be there forever. Luckily our children will never know what it is like when you have never had unconditional love. I ask everyone that reads this to pass it on. You never know who you might touch and how you can affect them. You think one person can’t change the world but it all starts with us, one person at a time. Please pass it on and don’t forget to start with yourself.