In today’s day and age there is so much accessibility to the world via social media, the end result is we are spending less and less time, face to face.   We have facebook, twitter, linkedin, personal and business e-mail’s all available at the push of a few buttons on our computers, laptops and cell phones.  Teenagers know who to contact their friends and make new (unsupervised friends) quickly on their favourite online sites and texting and have even come up with a new language to communicate faster. But it it really communicating?  I am still trying to figure out what happened to snailmail? We almost all have cell phones, but a lot of people send more text messages than actually dialing and talking on the phone. At the very least I prefer to talk on the phone, mostly because I am a people person and secondly because there is too much room for a misunderstanding with e-mails and texting. Communicating is difficult enough without adding a whole new language or room for misinterpretations.  
What about using social media when getting to know someone ? A lot of people have their initial contact online via facebook,dating sites,  My space etc. Even though social media was designed to give us more accessibility to new people faster, it has resulted in less personal contact. The end result is people are loosing their ability to socialize or network in person and our teenagers never learn how. They can communicate for days, weeks and months before meeting. If you a parent of a young child or teenager you need to be aware of how dangerous this can be ( I could do a whole post on this). Even though we may be intelligent adults (some of us like to think we are)  it can still be dangerous. You have no idea who is on the other side of that message, until you meet them face to face. Very often they are not anything like the person they pretended to be online.   They can lie and misrepresent themselves and often do. If you have tried online dating even for a short time, you know what I am talking about.  They lie about their age, physical size, activity levels and post an online photo that misrepresents themselves. I have another post called “Why online dating does not work …………for  relationships.” that covers this.
As well as people misrepresenting themselves, we are loosing our ability to socialize and build lasting relationships when face to face.   I have a very hard time trying to get to know someone unless I am in front of them. I have chatted to people online and really thought that I knew them quite a bit, until I met them in person and they were completely different than I thought, or was led to believe. If you have ever had a long distance relationship you will know what I mean, it will always seem like you are on a holiday (and who doesn’t like a holiday). Later when you actually spend a great deal of time with them, you see them in  their day to day activities, complete with their quirky or bad habits and the relationship often falters. Mostly because we have a preconceived idea of who this person is, but it is usually a fantasy. We rarely fantasize about someones bad habits. 
There is nothing like looking into a partners eyes, holding their hands, feeling their arms around you. We all need and appreciate Vitamin T (touch), did you know that Personal touch is therapeutic, seriously, it is! When getting to know someone you need to spend at least  as much time face to face as you do online or on the phone. I know that it is easier to chat online, no personal  investment, but there is something that you just can’t get online. Emotional intimacy. When you are honestly ready for a true relationship you need to be able to invest the time in order to really get to know that person. If you are not prepared to invest the time you are not ready for a relationship. On the other hand if someone tells you that they are very busy and doesn’t make time for you, “they are just not that intoYOU“. Just like the book or the movie, if they are interested, they will make time. Â
Social media may be a compliment to our face to face time, but it should not be a replacement. Get out there in person and socialize, you have no idea how wonderful it can be, you never know who you may meet. If you are in a relationship make sure that you make enough face time with your partner so that you can keep that spark alive and make sure you both get enough of that much needed Vitamin T. I’m all about the love. Be good to each other.
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I realize the idea of social media may help initially, but my concern is that it can become a crutch. Children really need to get back outdoors and spend time with other children, (and adults as well) in group activites, sports etc. to learn how to socialize.If they don’t learn how as children they grow into adults that don’t have social skills and it can really impeed them in their workday world as well as personal relationships.