In a recent post I talked about there being “plenty of men in Vancouver”. I posted the blog link to my facebook and was immediately corrected by a friend that there were plenty of GOOD men in Vancouver. My reply was that I didn’t know them all, I had only seen them, so I could not make that judgement.
What makes a man a good man? I went back to the scene of the crime, Burrard St.  between Dunsmuir and Davie to research this, this time I parked myself at the Cactus Club. I have been told that even though there are a lot of men there, they may not be “good men”.  I discovered that everyone has a different interpretation of that term.Â
Visually there was definitely a mixed bag,  plenty of well dressed business men, men in nice shirts and jeans, khakis and some who could really use a little help, sorry but it is true. I know, you can’t always judge a book by it’s cover, but the effort put out usually does give you some indication of the effort they put out into other things. My thought has always been that they don’t have to be in the most expensive clothes, but they should be clean and current.  
Case in point, you can not tell just by looking at them.  You have to get to know them to make that judgement.
When I polled a few women and men they all had different opinions on what makes a “good man”. I did notice that almost every man that I talked to, thought he was one.  Hmmmmmmm is that possible????  Unfortunately some of  the waitresses generally thought a man that tipped well, was a good man. (maybe not). I did include some of the typical answers below.
Some people stated it meant a kind considerate caring man, a friend. Honesty and trustworthiness were prime points given from quite a few ladies. Some men said a man’s man, dependable, reliable, will always do what he says he will. A few men beside me thought it meant, he had a good job, a good provider, did not get into trouble with the law and did not abuse anyone, as well as being loving and considerate. They also stated that they were good men and one even said he was a great man, he also asked me to e-mail his wife about that.  Another group of men thought that honesty, respect and trustworthiness were the main characteristics. One of their cohorts stated that men and women need to be adaptable and not generalize the gender roles, in other words support each other and work together.  I thought he was pretty evolved and probably a good man, in my interpretation.  I know each one of my female clients is looking for their version of a good man and everyone of them has a completely different list.  A few have added that they want that man to have a bit of an edge. I always say if you get a man with an edge, he will always cut you. But to each his own. I never did understand the appeal of the bad boy! But I do know lots that did and they have the scars to prove it, emotional or physical. No thanks, I would rather slam my hand in a drawer. Only good men need apply for this good woman.
Not sure if we defined a “good man” succinctly, but I think we have some common characteristics. I think we did discover that everyone has a different version and the trick is finding the right good man for the right good woman. So to all you “good men” that are actually looking to find that “good woman” keep the faith and if you need any help with that search, you know where to find me.Â
I would love to hear your interpretation of a “Good man”, or “Good woman” for another post. Also, do you think that “good men” finish last. I say no, but I would love to hear your comments. Â Take care and have a fabulous day.
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From a man’s perspective, what makes a good woman? Well, what is important and attractive to me has changed over time for me as I have aged. I’m now 42 and what I look for now is quite different to what I was looking for at 25.
The good news is that as men age, we become less physically obsessed, and look much more for intelligence. It’s true and, no, I’m not a one-off, I have done my reading on this.
I should note that by intelligence, we’re talking of not just IQ but also EQ.
Of course, there are the classic exceptions of men with younger women just for their looks, but you notice them, they really are a minority, we will tend not to notice all the ‘normal’ couples.
Yes, looks – or more accurately, attractiveness – will always be very important to men, but there’s a lot of ‘good’ men who just want women who are good all-rounders, of both reasonable attractiveness and good intelligence, I think because deep down we begin to realize (finally!) that intelligence is going to be much handier than looks over the years in making for a successful partnership.