In my last post we talked about Intelligent successful women and I have to say I am always overwhelmed when people judge a book by it’s cover. I did get some more comments on this subject that I could not post. Please remember if you want me to take you seriously and post your comments you cannot be verbally abusive or use profanity. I think some of you totally missed my point. What I was trying to say was please give these women the benefit of the doubt, at least try to talk to them, you may be pleasantly surprised at how amazing they really are. To judge them only on their attractiveness and age does everyone a disservice, aren’t you glad that most women do not list these as their top priority’s. If you read everything I was trying to say, I also said they were beautiful, as a matter of fact, I listed it at the very top of the attributes. I was shocked and disappointed on how many just focused on the words intelligent and successful. Please, Do not judge them by their covers, I am sure that you hate it when someone does it to you.
This blog is all about dating in pursuit of finding the right relationship, for all of us. I think we can all take a bit of time and honestly reflect on passing judgement on others:
- a good man should not be measured my his success, just as a women should not (pro or con)
- a visibly beautiful person is not necessarily beautiful inside
- younger is not always better, regardless if you are male or female
- an intelligent person is not the always the best educated
- book smart does not guarantee logic
- not all men or women are exactly the same as their first impression, or your interpretation of that
- we are all unique in our own ways and should be judged more on how we treat each other than how we look
- where someone lives does not mean anything, it’s how they live their life
- having more money does not give you the right to pass judgement or make you a better person
- age is relative, I know lots of 50 year olds that are way more active and energetic than some 20 year olds, everyone is unique
- success in life should not be measured by material things, by men or women
- the best partner for you may not always be the one you are immediately attracted to
-not all men are exactly the same, just as women are not all the same
If we try to be more open and socialize with everyone without passing judgement, we have a better chance of finding that person that will enhance ours lives, just as we hope to enhance theirs. Generalizations are almost always inaccurate and do everyone a disservice. Respect is a two way street, you must be able to give it in order to receive it. Remember my motto when dating. “ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time”. Maybe it’s time for a change, try to be open, wouldn’t you appreciate it from others. 
I wish you all the very best in your search.
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Sheree, must say I’m unimpressed you had people actually swearing at you over some of your recent blogs – that’s the way to prove your not intimidated by smart, successful women boys!
I did have a few thoughts on the topic though which, based on your last blog I read, you also seem aware of. This judging a book by its cover thing (never a good idea I agree) really does go both ways. That is, sincere, emotionally secure guys seem to send women running faster than a new Olympic scandal can arise. It’s the “you’re a nice guy but…” Foundation.
I know in Vancouver many women seem to believe there are no decent guys out there or if they are they won’t ever make the first move – that the nice guys are too timid. Funny thing is, I recall a survey a local media outlet conducted sometime ago wherein they split their sample and asked one group of women about dating in vancouver and women said men in Vancouver were shy or too timid. They asked the other group what they thought when they got a compliment in the office or in public and this group said they thought the guy was just after one thing. From a guy’s perspective you’re left in that catch-22 zone saying “now what?”
That said, I think the frustration intelligent, successful women have is sadly legitimate but there are men out there that have the same frustration.
Not sure how you close that gap but then that is where you come in perhaps?
Jugding a book by its cover…
I’ve had a real life example of this. In my last few years I have had some eye openers. I didn’t walk for almost a year, as a result I put on weight. Much of which is slowly disappearing. Also, middle age is claiming my hair. I’m not concerned, one less thing to deal with in the morning.
What has changed is how women react to me. It has become difficult to ellicit even a smile from someone. Only a few years ago, striking up a conversation with a stranger was met with a smile, and an acknowledgement of the effort, even if it was just a few minutes in passing.
The last couple of years has taught me how shallow people can be, and I’m certain that is not limited to women.
Too many women have told me that I’d be such a great catch for someone, but not for them. I’m sure many men and women have heard the same thing.
None of us are getting any younger. None of us are getting any better looking. Life is like a cab ride. Doesn’t matter if you are flying down the highway, or stopped at a light. The meter is still running.
Nobody looks good at 65, at least not in the way they did at 30. Look for the things that will be there long term. Happiness, a smile, that glint in the eye, a good heart, kindness, and the list goes on. These are the things that never fade, and things that you will still love when you look each other in the eye years from now.
My father gave me only one piece of advice with regards to women. He told me “Son, beauty is only a light switch away”. Crude as that may be, he made a valid point.
Wow Ryan, you are definitely right on the money and pretty gets very ugly when they treat you badly. Women deal with this on a contilual basis, younger is not always better, and cosmetically perfect is pretty boring if that is all there is. Sad but true but as a woman ages she becomes more and more invisible. As a 52 year old woman I know what I am talking about. Yet as a woman and possible partner for someone, I know that I am a way better person now than I was as a twenty year old. I would not give up everything I have learned, the confidence and comfort that I have in my own skin to go back and have that flawless 20 year old body. Honestly I know that it may not be visable at first sight, but the whole package is definitely a better catch for a happy relationship. That’s my whole point, people need to look at the entire package before making a decision on wether or not someone is a possible match. Best of luck to everyone and try to keep an open mind, you might be surprised at what you may discover.