Vancouver Dating by Matchmaker and Dating Expert Sheree Morgan

Before you are ready to look for that new love, please, please make sure that you have taken care of your emotional  baggage. Unfortunately anyone over the age of 30 has  had their heart broken at one time or another and has some type of baggage. The problem with baggage is that it holds you back from looking at another relationship openly and honestly. No one wants to or deserves to be painted with the same brush as your last partner. You need to remember that it was that  one person that hurt and disappointed you, not all members of the opposite sex.  I have personally met so many people with enough baggage to sink a luxury liner. Some of us attract it more than others and I will have to explore this further in another post, stay tuned. But speaking from the receiving side of this,It is so sad and painful to be on the receiving side of these assumptions and doubts.  It is completely unfair to the new party to constantly be accused and questioned for every little thing, no matter how innocent it may be. Unfortunately, no matter how wonderful the rest of you may be, undealt with baggage always kill a relationship, especially if the other person is reasonably emotionally healthy, which is what you ultimately want isn’t it?  That is probably why you were attracted to that person in the first place, But you both have to be there. So if you asking why is there always a glitch, maybe look a little deeper.

I realize that some people bounce around like billiard balls on the relationship table, trying every pocket that is handy, hoping that one of them will be a perfect fit.  The truth is that if someone has hurt you deeply,and your trust has been damaged, unless you deal with these issues they will come back to haunt you in every new relationship, no matter how perfect that person may be for you. So sorry, if you  trying to mend that broken heart with a new love it is probably not going to work, at least not for the long term.  The sad reality is that every one of us has to be responsible for our own happiness! Before you can look at a new person honestly without assuming the worst, you have to be comfortable with your past and dare I say it, forgive them and yourself. Yes, everyone of us has to look at what was our part in the failed relationship, even if  you don’t think you had anything to do with it.  Why did you let someone treat you like that?   You need to be happy and healthy with yourself and not  feel the need for someone, to make you happy. When you choose to want to share your happiness with someone else, then you are at the right place.  Then and only then do you have a chance at a  happy lasting relationship. Relationships are a lot of work, at the best of times, so you can imagine if you have  any jealousy, abandonment  or trust issues. Don’t you want the next relationship in your life to be  the one that lasts, the one that works for both of you?  

We have all seen the plagues that say LOVE LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN HURT BEFORE. The only way that you can do that is if you have made peace with yourself and the partners or people  that hurt you. Sometimes the pain can date back to our childhood, from our parents or friends. No one wants to look at our part of a failed relationship, but it is necessary, if you eventually want a healthy happy relationship.

I know I have stated this many times before but please, please make sure that you are healthy and happy emotionally and that your potential partner is also there before you jump into any relationship. I am a hopeless romantic and I love being in Love but I do not love going through a meatgrinder and when you are dealing with unresolved baggage it can feel like that. I wish I had an magic wand and I could heal everyone emotionally so that we would all start completely fresh and scar free , but that is not reality, our own happiness is really up to us.  We need to make sure all our bags are packed and on a bus heading out of town, before moving forward. Happy packing.

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