Vancouver Dating by Matchmaker and Dating Expert Sheree Morgan

 

As some of you know, I co-host an online radio show with John Barson. A few weeks ago we had the authors of ” the  Introvert and Extrovert in Love” on and really got to explore how our brains and temperaments affect our love life. More importantly how to understand our partners temperament and ours and how to use that information to build a lasting relationship. The end result was I think we discovered the real secrets that ANY long term relationship needs in order to succeed and still manage to remain sane. 

There was so much to talk about  that we decided to interview the c0-authors,  Michael Laney( the husband) and  Marti Laney (the wife) over 2 separate shows. Michael was the definitive extrovert, a matter of fact he is so far to that end of the spectrum, it is almost off the scale while Marti  was at the other end of the introverted scale.  I had to ask, “How on earth did you manage to stay married for 44 years?” in today’s world that is incredible. It’s pretty sad but the reality is that most of us have not managed to attain that goal and if you are one of the fortunate ones that have done it. Let me say, “well done” and “I am jealous but I am still working on it”.    

The obvious thing that they started with was LOVE, followed by the COMMITMENT to making their relationship work, even though they were coming from two totally different mind frames.  There is that C word, please don’t run out of the room screaming.     The one thing they stressed is that it did not happen over night!   There were plenty of struggles and many heated battles. The one thing that helped them through it all was their COMMITMENT to wanting to make it work, come hell or high water and there were many times when it might have seemed easier to walk away, but the good thing is they didn’t.  I know there is that C word again.

They both realized that they were both coming from 2 totally different temperaments and their first step was learning how their partners brain worked, yes I said brain. We are all hardwired one way or the other and it is helpful to any relationship to know this information about your partner or potential partner. There is alot of information in their book, so if you want to know more you should look for their book. I was amazed at how much I learned about the brain and how our hard wiring really affects our relationships.  The good news  is that we are still in control of our  own lives, there is a possibility of finding that happy medium in any relationship, provided that you BOTH are COMMITED to making it work. Oops there is that C word again. Â

So here are the secrets I discovered:

KNOWLEDGE- they learned about each others temperament, so they could understand where their partner was coming from

KNOWLEDGE -  they also had to understand their own temperament in order to really understand why they reacted the way that they did 

ACCEPTANCE and ACKNOWLEDGEMENT - they had to acknowledge  and accept that both parties were unique and reacted to things differently and that meant that neither was wrong or right, just different

RESPECT – they learned to respect each others individuality and  their need to react different  in different situations

RESPECT – they learned to respect each others comfort zones

ACCEPTANCE – they learned to accept that they were going to be able to comfortable in some situations together and other situations they agreed to allow the other to opt out if is was uncomfortable 

COMMITED EFFORT- they realized that it took a commited effort from both of them to  make it work and they both commited 

DEDICATED ACCEPTANCE – they realized that not every day was going to be perfect, but together they could and wanted to do everything they could to make a happy relationship work for both of them 

COMMUNICATION – they had to  learn to communicate their feelings to each other and not expect the other to understand them immediately or react the same way 

The end result was a 44 year marriage, 2 happy people, a happy family unit and they even managed to work together to write this fabulous book. Sounds like a winning recipe to me.   I am definitely dedicated to making a relationship work, I need to make sure that my potential partner is on the same wavelength and I may just have a shot. How about you? It may sound like alot of work but the rewards are worth it. What happens when you stop working at your job, YOU GET FIRED! SO why would you think that a relationship was any different. Anything in life that is worthwhile takes effort.

For more information make sure and check out their book  (The Introvert and Extrovert in Love) by Marti and Michael Laney, I highly recommend it.

ww.match-works

Tags:   acceptance · Commitment · dating services and Matchmaker Sheree · Marti and Michael Laney · respect · secrets to a long term relationship · the introvert and the extrovert in love · the secrets to a long term relationship · vancouver dating1 Comment