Vancouver Dating by Matchmaker and Dating Expert Sheree Morgan

As a professional Matchmaker, I am constantly reminded that a lot of people have unrealistic expectations and unfortunately I am no different. Somedays are just not perfect and the more  crap that is thrown our way, the less we can handle. I am a pretty positive person with a huge capacity to see the positive in things and people, but some days even Pollyanna  (me) succumbs to my own pity party. Damn, damn and double damn. I hate it when I am human, I am supposed to be able to handle everything,  after all I have all this knowledge.   I think I should be able to handle everything without behaving badly, but I have to admit that sometimes I just blow it.  Again unrealistic expectations put on myself,  by myself. Hey no one in the world expects more out of me than I do.  Sound familiar? 

Today as you can guess, is one of those days. I have no particular reason to be feeling this way, just a whole pile of little disappointments and a very upsetting  sleep last night that left me waking up in a fitful state. So let’s look at the initial start of my day, I was obviously unrested after a fitful night of very bad dreams. What the heck was that about??  Who knows! Then I got frustrated dealing with a technical problem with the Internet,  my computer connections, my cable company and (surprise, surprise) a cable that somehow had become unplugged.   I am sure you get the picture. Add a misunderstanding and no time to straighten it out, a cancelled lunch appointment and I was feeling a little overwhelmed. For god’s sake I am n0t dying, no one is, this should not be such a big deal, but all of a sudden I was close to tears and going “what the hell“! Any one of these little disappointments normally would be no big deal, but today all piled together, wham……..I feel like I am all alone having  to take on the world and getting every door slammed in my face. I know you are probably reading this and thinking “oh my god, she is a nutbar”,  no honestly just a human, having an imperfect day.  I realize that there are many people with way bigger problems, but today I could not get myself to snap out of it, no matter how much I wanted to. The first positive step I have had  in this frustrating day, is admitting that I am not perfect, damn, damn and double damn! But why not, I know  so much more than I did as a teenager,  I should have all the answers……….oh crap,  I still have lessons to learn.  I cannot make every day perfect nor can I make myself perfect or expect anyone else to be.  Damn, damn and double damn again, sorry for the swearing!!!  (How do you eat an elephant, one bite at a time!)  : )

So, how did I handle it,  I phoned my best friend, even though he moved from Vancouver,  he called me back within a few hours. It is amazing how just hearing a calm supportive loving voice could lead me away from the edge. Yes, there is no mystery here why he is my best friend, he is my rock, he accepts me ,wort’s and all, even in my whiny, cranky moments when I know I am not being logical, he manages to bounce me back to reality without making me feel like an idiot. He must be a saint, because  he has seen me at my best and my worst and he still loves me. All I can say is thank god, (as a single woman with no parents to emotionally support her), I am so grateful to have had him in my life for the last 6 years.  I also spoke to another friend who reminded me that we all have these days and that this too would pass,(which of course it did).  Right after that, I phoned my eldest son and he was able to meet me for lunch, fortunately, which was surprising considering we have been trying to get together for awhile and our schedules just weren`t matching up. The end result is, I feel so much better and I realize that life is not that tragic. The sun in still shining, (which it always was), I will still get by and I am none the worse for wear, okay maybe a little.   But it is funny how  overwhelmed we can get when we are in the middle of the messy crap. One piece of crap is easily dealt with it, it is when it seems that it keeps coming at you from all directions that it seems like you are fighting a loosing battle.  Or was that just my perception, because  earlier I was focusing on the negative instead of the positive. Hey, just a minute I may just have something here. When you focus on the negative you see it everywhere, when you focus on the positive you find it. Okay I get it!!! I hope I learned this lesson, I think I have had it run me over a few times before. Well, maybe some lessons are harder to learn than the others. Â

Life is messy, people are imperfect, that is just the way it is! The best we can do it try to focus on the positive and surround ourselves with good loving friends and family. (if we have it)  That`s what I want in a relationship, I want to know that when I get my ass kicked by life, that my partner will be there to help me up, dust me off, listen to me ramble,( even if I don`t make any sense), offer me some strong supportive arms  to hold me or a shoulder to cry on and then the strength to send me back out there with the knowledge that they are behind me all the way. Isn`t that what we all want. We all want to know that someone gets us, that we are appreciated and loved just as we are, even if we are not at our best.  I try to be  a good friend and partner and I have held many a hand and listened to many a sob story for others, but  it is nice to know that  someone is there for me too. The truth is that I never stay down for long and tomorrow after a good sleep, I am sure that I will be feeling so much stronger emotionally and physically. But tonight I think chocolate and the remote control have my name on them. At least that way no one gets hurt. Â

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