Vancouver Dating by Matchmaker and Dating Expert Sheree Morgan

Previously I wrote about “What do women want?” http://vancouverdating.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/what-do-women-want-really/ I think it only fitting to offer the other side of the coin, “What do men want?” Now when I refer to this I mean, what do they want in a woman and a relationship? Since I am only a mere woman I had to actually ask some men for their opinions.I must say I certainly got a varied response but then I picked a varied group on purpose. Some responses are laughable and some very insightful.

Here are a few of their direct quotes:  

1. I want attractiveness, cleanliness, and emotional and financial stability in my partner, particularly the latter since I do so much freelance work I am such a gypsy myself, ha ha! (I am not sure, is he saying he would like to be a kept man?)

 

2. I  am pretty positive and clearer on this point than I’ve ever been in my life, I don’t know the order but they’ll probably be close to the way they come out.  To feel like I matter to her more than, well probably most things.  I want to be treated like the King and she is my Queen, I want to know that when I’m out ‘killing the dragon’ and ‘defending the castle’ when I come home, I’m coming home to her arms. That makes it all worthwhile. Desired and ‘lusted’ over before and when we make love.  To make love and have sex. (yes there is a difference) Admired, Interested and Interesting basically “it all” (Very traditional way of thinking, as long as he has a traditional woman, I’d say he’d be happy and yes I do know the difference between making love and having sex. ) 

 

3. Good question . A  loaded question for sure !  Men want an attractive, smart, honest caring one man woman. Someone who will be supportive and be flexible in life ups and downs. Meaning that women spend less when the market’s shrink and spend more when the markets expand. It’s simple but apparently not for many! Men want their women to respect them ! ( I never really thought about the economy and a man’s needs and expectations with his partner but it  makes perfect sense  and I am all about the RESPECT!)

 

4. Honesty, loyalty, romance, friendship, great communication and great sex, of course. (Very simple straight forward thought process, but  probably pretty bang on.)

 

5. Honesty, communicator, loyalty,someone who wants to enjoy life to its fullest, enjoy each and every day, smile, have fun. Someone to do activities with and also someone who likes their time to do the things they like as well. Someone who wants to love me and wants me to love them. I believe that you have to have things in common in your activity group.  I like running and cycling, golfing and want to learn other activities like that eg. tennis, squash etc..I would like to learn other things as well. So I am open that way to learning new things. Oh did I mention sex lol..Well I tend to like that part very much. I would want someone who doesn’t have hang ups that way. Being spontaneous in sex and other activities as well and travelling could be put in there…I believe Sheree that sex is very important. In society it tends to be put in the back corner…Well I believe it should be in the fore front. It is a very important part of life…So I guess I mentioned sex lol.. (Sounds pretty predictable for most guys, with a focus on SEX, did I mention SEX, there’s a surprise !  Like I said pretty normal, but I think Sex IS ALWAYS in the forefront and sometimes confuses us into thinking that lust is actually love when there really may not be anything more. We honestly need the combined package of a friend and lover in order to have a lasting relationship and consequently a better love life. I am all for Great sex and lots of it, but unfortunately it does not guarentee a great relationship, damn it anyways! But it’s a  good place to start!) 

 

6. What I want is fairly simple.  My “musts” are kind, honest, and happy. Kindness and honesty are generally the same thing, but in cases where they diverge, kindness should overrule.  If a woman has those three qualities I will be attracted no matter what she looks like.  A great smile goes a long way too, especially if it is reflected in her eyes and laugh.   I’m looking for an equal, a friend, a partner. (this young man is actually incredibly mature about these things and easy to please but for some reason has not been able to find a woman that feels the same, a true story of nice guys finishing last…. so far. I still have faith  that there is a great girl out there for him, he just hasn’t met her yet! Ladies if you are interested in a great guy, call me! He wants to get married and have children and I can tell he would be a great husband and father.)

 

7.  Legs, if you have nice legs, us men love them – all sizes or colors, dresses – Please wear more – any type, see-thru tops with a nice color bra,  friendly Smiles, women/girls in Hockey Jerseys, colorful dressing – pants, tops, dresses etc. (I think we can see he is definitely focused on the icing on the cupcake rather than the substance, I wonder why he is still single? )

 

8. I literally confronted a more mature married man in a coffee shop  and begged for his words of wisdom. He stated that what he wanted from a woman  had changed over the years and  had consequently resulted in a divorce and remarriage (14 years ago). At this point in his life  he wanted a partner with similar interests,  similar personalities,  reliability, dependability and somebody that has their act together. (He may be a little older  but he is definetly much wiser and still extremely handsome, too bad he is not  available. Such is life!)

 

So there you have it, NOT really any great surprises, we all know that most men pick a woman initially by her LOOKS  (some more than others). The more MATURE the man gets the more they realize that they also want a great  FRIENDSHIP, COMPATABILITY, RELIABILITY, DEPENDABLITY, HONESTY, KINDNESS,  RESPECT and of course GREAT SEX! Sounds actually pretty similar to what the women told me,  So you see, we are not all that different after all.

Special Thanks to all the men that were willing to participate, your identity has been protected!

I would love to hear what you want!  Please add your  needs and wants in the comment section below.

P.S. Age does not guarantee maturity, some men actually digress,  you know what I mean, the MEN that feel that they are ENTITLED to date a woman half their age or CHEAT on their wives. All I can say is good luck with that!  If I had a nickel for every40 or 50 year old man that told me he wanted to date a much younger woman 20 – 30 because he felt that he didn’t look or feel his age!  Yeah right!   Yet  they are always honestly surprised when that younger woman takes half their money and  then cheats on them with a younger man, hmmmm????? Actually, maybe they are entitled to that!   But that’s a whole other post!

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