In my last post I wrote about socializing particularly during the holidays and hopefully I gave you some helpful tips. My next post is to help you in your dating world once you get that new connection. There are some things that seem so logical and basic that you may say, “well of course everyone knows that”, but it is surprising how many abandon all thought process when on a date, especially if there is a degree of chemistry.
Men, if you have met a person of interest at an event or party, I hope within a few days you have followed it up with a phone call, as you said you would. 
If not what are you waiting for? Why did you ask for her number in the first place? The ball is in your court (for once) and you do not have to wait 2 or 3 days to call her and you are actually better off if you don’t. Any man who was seriously interested in me has called me within 24 hours and I was quite happy he did. It shows that you are interested and confident. Two things all women love!
Women, if he is brave enough to call you and ask you out make sure that you are gracious and accept, if not why did you give him your phone number?
Now that you are talking on the phone make sure and keep it light, find out if you have any similar activities that you could share on your first date. DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR EX. Pick an activity that you would both be interested in, something you might do with a friend, again keep it light.
On your first dates DO NOT meet for coffee and proceed to interview each other, no one feels comfortable being screened by a potential partner. I am constantly surprised at how many people do this, nothing kills a mood faster than feeling like you are being scrutinized. As a matchmaker I prescreen possible matches for my clients, so they don’t have to, people expect me to do it and it’s much more comfortable for everyone, it’s not personal it’s my business.
First dates are to see if you like each other’s company not to find out how much they have in assets or why their past relationships broke up. We do not want to hear about your ex and how she robbed you blind. We don’t care what you used to have, we don’t care how you were deceived when you picked your last partner or your children’s mother. We don’t want to hear how she was so beautiful and you just fell hopelessly in love with her till she left you for a younger and much richer man, now that she has half of your assets. Men, not all women in the world are out to take you to the cleaners but if that is what you keep attracting maybe you need to take a look at who you are dating and ask yourself why! Women, if you keep picking the bad boy what about “bad boy” don’t you understand? Back to the conversation, KEEP IT LIGHT! Dating is about having fun!!!!!! If not, chances are there will not be a second date.
What about that first kiss? DO NOT RUSH IT! Unfortunately sometimes we rush into it so quickly that we blow it. You only have one chance at a first kiss and if you mess it up chances are you won’t get a second one.I suggest taking your time and waiting till it is right for both of you, you will know when, if you are paying attention. Even then, I suggest keeping it light, no deep throat on the first kiss and no one wants to be slobbered on. You might want to read my post on kissing, a favourite of mine. http://vancouverdating.match-works.com/index.php/2009/06/16/its-in-his-or-her-kiss/
Back to my last suggestion PAYING ATTENTION, no one ever lost out by paying too much attention on a date. That means LISTEN AS MUCH AS YOU TALK, you will be surprised how much you can learn about someone if you just pay attention! It costs you nothing and the insight is well worth your time! If you see that they treat the waiter or waitress badly, chances are they will treat you the same before long. If they are constantly checking out or flirting with others this is another red flag, don’t overlook these patterns! If someone shows you bad behaviour don’t ignore it, if they are considerate and thoughtful these are good things! Make sure that you are putting your best foot forward as well, you only have one chance to make a good impression. Keep things positive, light and fun, isn’t that what you want from a date?
Make sure and dress for the occasion, always put your best foot forward and that means your shoes also. The only time you should show up for a date in runners is if you have already agreed that you will be going for a walk or other physical activity that would require it. Even then they should be clean. If you are going to be wearing jeans make sure that they fit you properly, stay away from the old man jeans that you come up to your waist and bag in the butt and legs. You appreciate when a woman dresses up and takes pride in her appearance, women do too. It shows that you thought they were worth the effort. And ladies it is just silly to go for a hike in your stilettos so make sure you dress appropriately as well. Be conservative on the makeup as well, no man likes a overmade clown face that smears all over his collar.
As I said, I know a lot of these things sound simple and basic and we should all know this but why do so many of us forget? Dating is supposed to be enjoyable, remember when you were a teenager and all you worried about was whether they were going to like you or not, if your breath was fresh and what it they tried to kiss or what if they didn’t? We need to get back to a little more simplicity, slowing things down and stop the Spanish inquisition. Dating is meant to be an opportunity to get to know someone better, be positive but don’t put too many expectations on it or them. Don’t takes things too seriously, relax and enjoy yourself but not so much that you drink too much and never ever drink and drive! Happy Dating!!!! If you need any help finding the right date, you know where to reach me! www.match-works.com at the very least if are single you need to be part of my data network http://www.match-works.com/Application.html Your information will be kept private and onfile indefinitly. I may have someone that is looking for someone just like you right now. What are you waiting for!
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